Hello and welcome back!
Let’s talk babies! A few months after the joys of your wedding are winding down, the next stage of life is having a baby! Uh oh.. you might be thinking “Not yet!” or “We’re not ready!”. Welcome to our life. So why do people keep asking when and what should you say?!
First of all, I must say that it’s a natural, sweet question for people to ask. They are excited for the next progression of your life and curiosity leads them to ask. Don’t let such an innocent question change your life plans. Of course it’s nice to keep an open mind and think about having kids sooner or later than you originally intended, but don’t let it create friction in your relationship.
When my husband and I got married, we knew we wanted to wait a couple years before having kids. We didn’t see marriage and kids bundled into one package. Instead, enjoying married life with just the two of us was our primary focus. When our 1 year anniversary came, so did the baby question. ‘Happy anniversary’ and ‘when are you having a baby’ was compressed into one message. It was sweet, but it immediately put me into baby mode. I’d push my husband into starting a family. When the dust settles down, it’s clear to me once again why we decided to wait. But often times, it takes weeks to be to snap out of baby mode. Suddenly a 2 second question “When are you guys going to have a baby?” is stuck in my mind on repeat.
Now our reasons for waiting are typical I’d say – buying a home is our main goal. Once we are settled in, having a baby will be ideal in our minds. But with life comes changes so as time goes by, so do our ideologies. At this moment, we are planning for a baby sometime next year. If things don’t go as planned and stroller shopping comes earlier, we will be just as ecstatic. Having babies is a huge step that we both want. It’s just a matter of time. The phrase “we’re not ready” is common, although you’re never really ready right? So instead, I say “I’m not ready to stop being selfish for a little longer”. These few years are the only time in our lives we can truly focus on ourselves – work, marriage, traveling, nights out on the town. So we’ve decided to embrace this moment of life.
Are you ‘going through’ something similar?
Don’t allow external pressures to alter the internal mind.