Hello beautiful. As a continuation of my last post, I wanted to share my top list of lessons my dad has taught me. To write a list of lessons learned can be challenging – The moments in time are frozen so to chisel away to get to the core isn’t an easy task. But still, there are everlasting lessons that I use today, and will continue to grow with tomorrow.
- Dream big but create a plan of action. Growing up, I’ve always been a dreamer. When I was younger, I’d randomly have ‘genius’ ideas that I’d present to my dad. When he’d asked me “So how will you attain this”, I froze. “mmm, I’m not sure”. He would always tell me that an action plan is just as important as a dream. Your desires and goals are only ideas until you figure out how to work towards them. So although dreaming is step one, follow through. No matter how big or small your ideas are, they can become a reality if you set your mind to it.
- Stand tall and be brave. This lesson was taught indirectly. It was from seeing his pain in unhealthy familial relationships that ignited an inner strength to not put up with bullshit. It’s not easy by any means. There was a moment where my sister and I stood up for what we knew was right, and we didn’t cower down. Details are not important, but the significance of this is the immense sense of pride our dad felt. He told us how proud he was of that moment and how he so badly wished he had the courage to stand up for his beliefs earlier. That conversation between a father and his kids will never be forgotten.
- Distance yourself from gossip. Although this wasn’t a lesson he told us, it was after he passed away that we learned how numbing gossip can be. The worst part is that you have no control over it. People love to gossip; it’s a way of life for many without realizing it. After our dad passed away, rumors spread like wildfire. There have been countless times that I’ve cried and allowed the rumors to harm my inner peace. We don’t want sympathy, but a caring word is preferred over lies and hearsay. Then, I created distance. It doesn’t mean I no longer care for people; I am simply choosing to stay away from what hurts me. The mind is a powerful tool and to allow negative opinions enter your mind is unfair to you and to those who love you.
- A dollar is only worth the hard work behind it. We have had the luxury to have been raised by amazing parents. My mom worked upwards of 3 jobs at one time in order to spoil us with vacations. When you’re young, you don’t realize how difficult it really is. Both my sister and I have worked since we were 16, and it has taught us how hard it really is. Our dad opened up a bank account and supervised our debits, credits, etc. If we overdrew the account, a lecture was around the corner. When I moved out at 20, my dad told me that I can only move out if I can do it on my own financially. If I wanted an extra $20, I can’t always run to him. In fact, he refused and lectured me for hours. Instead, I would suck it up and figure it out on my own. If I was unable to afford it, I can move back home. That offer was always there; secretly, I think he hoped I’d move back – not for the failure but because he missed me there. Tough love in its finest, and I wouldn’t change a thing. We were never coddled and we didn’t always get what we wanted, and yet at the same time, we had all the comforts of what we needed. The safety net was always there.
- Depend on yourself. This lesson is one of the toughest sounding, but completely true. He made sure that we were not dependent on anybody else. Loving others and creating healthy relationship is important, but make sure you are able to take care of yourself. Life is short, and you never know what tomorrow will bring. If you only had yourself, would you be able to handle it without panicking? Relying on others is only as good as you make it. To give full control to someone else on your life is where the problem exists. Remember your goals and dreams, and work hard towards them WITH the helping hands of others, not FULLY with their hands.
I hope these lessons help you as much as they have helped me. It’s amazing what lessons you can learn within the comforts of your home without even realizing it.