That’s right, I turned 30! For many, it’s a dreading moment – “ahhh 30!”. Without sounding superficial or fake, I couldn’t feel more blessed. I don’t want to babble on about how great it is, blah blah but instead I want to share my experiences thus far and what changes I’ve noticed.
SO turning 30 is a big deal, especially for women I feel. You are no longer in your 20s and that can be scary for many. This notion that you’re officially “old” now is ludicrous. Each year getting older is a privilege that not many have. So I’ll take it, over and over again. I have so much and more in my life that so many are not fortunate enough to have, most of the blessings given to me from above and out of my control. I don’t take that for granted for even a second.
In my late twenties, I had a vision of what life would be like when I turned 30. I remember having a specific conversation with my husband about my dream of going to Orlando and swimming with dolphins. I envisioned a baby by now, after buying a home. I thought I’d have it all together. And I do (kinda), but a different version. We don’t have a baby yet, and we’re working on the house buying dream, but despite all this, I’m happy. And sure, this sounds simple, but it has surprised me. We have a plan laid out and so far, the ball is rolling. When your team mate is on the same page as you and both of you are working towards a common goal, what more can you want? I’ve always been the type of person who wants instant gratification, and more often than not, it doesn’t always happen that way. When I was younger, I would come up with out of the box ideas, and when I’d share them with my dad, he would always shut me down. His most common response was “don’t tell me your dream, show me your plan”. I’d get discouraged and throw a tantrum internally since I was so hard headed, but how right he was. Funny how growing older makes you realize lessons from childhood. That has always stuck with me, but because I’m stubborn, I still want what I want instantly. My husband is the opposite. He will work towards it and knows that no matter how long it takes, you have to keep working for it. I’m slowly embracing this mindset, and have seen a drastic change in how content I end up feeling. Patience is key and as long as you are working towards a common goal, it will be achieved.
Since turning 30, I feel more confident in myself and the choices that I make. Granted it’s only been a month, so I hope it’s not just a fluke. I’ve gained a sense of knowing that I have value and to stop judging myself so much. There’s enough people out there already judging you and categorizing you into a box so why even bother doing that to yourself? I’ve noticed my assertive behavior at work, because finally I can see the value and knowledge that I bring. Up until this point, I’ve always been nervous to speak up, afraid of any potential for conflict (see more on this in my previous posts). But I’m recognizing that conflict is not always a bad thing; in fact, it can be quite pleasant and a tool to help you grow if you utilize it correctly. To be a people pleaser often entails always saying yes, never speaking up even if inside you don’t agree. But what about your own views and thoughts? There are many effective ways to get your point across and still be true to yourself without just riding on someone else’s words. And it’s vital for yourself to share, and own it. You don’t know what world you can open up by just being yourself and engaging in discussions. Don’t shy away because you are afraid someone will be upset with you; instead look at it as an opportunity to open up your mind and potentially their’s as well. As long as you aren’t purposely trying to hurt someone, it’s okay to not always agree. That’s how you can learn. If you’re always around yes people, the limit to advancement caves in a bit and prevents growth.
I know it all sounds very preachy, but perhaps this is my way of reminding myself of these truths. Words are just words without action behind them but at the same time, they are also very powerful. They are what you replay at night while lying in bed, or driving, or working, or doing anything really, so chose that soundtrack wisely. Own who you are and recognize that there’s only 1 you- that’s pretty damn special. Continue working on the person you want to become, but still embrace who you are at this moment. I’m sure it wasn’t always easy but you’re still standing and that speaks volumes.